I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i think im in europe. pls send help
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize