hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
