Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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