Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Randomize
