So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
