i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I queefed so loud it echoed.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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