Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
