she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
