he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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