I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
