I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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