I think scott just propositioned me for sex
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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