physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
