in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
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you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
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I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
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