the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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