He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
