i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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