So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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