Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
