kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I am mentally ready for anal.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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