He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
