Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i think i have herpe
just one?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
