My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
