After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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