You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
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My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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