Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Do vagina's smell?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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