We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
