He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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