Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
