tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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