i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
