I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
