Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
