I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize