oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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