I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
