it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
