go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
