DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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