My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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