I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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