bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
two words...techno handjob
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
