i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize