Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
