He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize