i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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