I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
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Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
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Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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