I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
