doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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