So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
