see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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