Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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