3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize