He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize