Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize