All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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