grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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