I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
