my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
