Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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