I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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